What can we really truthfully say about this awesome guy Stokes?  Beloved, care-free, endearing, intelligent, caring, legendary, friendly, understanding, charming, smart-dressing, cute, erudite, wonderful, sexy, strong, sharp, unflinching, categorical, funny, serious, sweet, good with the ladies, kind to kids and dogs, a straight-shooter, er … nice?

… Nope, none of the above, but we’ll look around for something suitable while you read on: Long-time MPG Member and true renaissance man, Doug Stokes is a great admirer of the recorded works of Paul Hindemith and Tupac Shakur.  A triple-major (reading, writing, and writhmetic) graduate of the prestigious Human Fund Academy in downtown metropolitan Sarasota , Illinois , this achingly handsome man-about-town is somewhat well-known in many automotive circles.  Stokes himself personally admits to being some sort of four-wheeled genius, able to call out the names of many 1950’s-era Formula One drivers from blurry photos held at more than eight paces away. 

He has been happily married numerous times and often pretends to have known noted MPG member Tim Considine (way back) when he was a child star (respected member Considine, not Stokes).  Many members humor him but then refuse to sit with him (Stokes) at MPG gatherings, excusing themselves to rearrange imagined sock drawers or other terrific excuses.

On the other hand, Stokes seems to really enjoy vilifying one of the sweetest, totally harmless, and most self-effacing MPG members who have ever drawn breath … The inimitable and deeply lovable Mister Donald (what a guy!) Prieto.  This is something that many people think that Stokes is very likely to burn in Hell over.

Precluding the Nixon “I am not a crook” statement by quite a few years, Stokes was widely quoted as saying: “Ich Ben Uno Caliente Berliner” and “Mission (what me worry?) Accomplished” waaaaay before those other guys copied him.  “I’m not a book?”  “What?”  Anyhow, this is not about Stokes, but about his thrill-packed life where he helped and encouraged so many of the little people that he met in his life. 

At 65, there are so many people who he has helped that the annual appreciation dinner that he stages for himself annually was recently forced to move from the Bellflower Chris’N’Pitt’s Restaurant to the much more capacious Spires Restaurant in Downey. 

“You don’t go SRO on something like this more than a year or two in a row without thinking about the substantial admission money that you’re missing out on,”  said Stokes about the unprecedented move.  The date of the annual event was moved this year to comply with the date change of the LA Auto Show and the fact that the free breakfast and all day food-fest had moved its date earlier. 

“There is no earthly reason to pass up a chance to dine in style (for free, for two days in a row) at Andy’s show,” said Mister Stokes.  “It’s taxing I know, but all those beautiful (but very heavy!) new press books bring good prices on Ebay, especially if they’re unopened!” he added knowingly.  Some of the folks who have influenced Stokes’ illustrious career are Louise Noeth, Al Vinikour, Alan Taylor, and Peter Bryant (who, coincidentally, all have posted their own highly-accurate and self-deprecating bios on the MPG site).  

“We are all of a kind,” said Stokes of the above four and himself.  “They all are in no way at all interested in open self-promotion, but have each chosen to post a bio in an effort to better the automotive world, to leave it a little nicer place to play in than they found it …”  

This bio has been posted in the very best tradition of the Motor Press Guild (“Why are we here and why are we PAYING for lunch?) Or in the old tongue: “Non-Gratis Grubbis: Non-Attendus Us”.  

And who are you to judge my friend?